January 4, 2015

When the LIGHT Breaks Through

The tight ball rising. Shoulders starting to inch toward the bottom of my ears. Today is the last day of Christmas break and tomorrow it all starts. I feel like I'm looking up at a waterfall that had run dry and suddenly the flood gates have been let loose.

The last 6 months have been so full. Of good. Of hard. Of work. And I have not taken care of myself at all. Workouts have been nonexistent. Food choices… not so stellar.

And my heart. Let's just say I get a "C" for time with God this last term.

And that leaves me here. On the treadmill trying to start my body moving again. And the tension in my body is still rising.

And then, as I start another 'run' interval, looking out the garage window on a brown pasture, still sprinkled with the powder sugar snow, the light breaks through the cold grey sky. And as that sliver of yellow pink light shines through my heart knows…

I cannot do this on my own.
I am not required to do this on my own.
All these balls I'm juggling… faith, family, work, teaching my kids… they are all roles He has given me.

And HE will make beautiful things in them.
IF I give Him room to be a part of it.

Let go.
Let Him.
Breath in His LIGHT.

As I look at that sunset through the clouds and my heart bows down in worship of the incredible creator who can't paint the sky, my body relaxes. I can catch a full breath now. I might not cry.

Tomorrows to-do list hasn't changed. But my focus has.
My focus has to be on Him.
I can't "make" good happen. But He can. Through me. If I stop, look and listen to His leading.

Today, He can. Tomorrow, He can.
Now, if I can just remember this tomorrow morning.